Settling down?

This is my response to Leah Davis’ post on the terrifying notion of settling down.

So hi, Leah. I just want you to know that I get you.

Why should you settle down when life could be an adventure? What’s the point of having a home when the world could be your home? Why get stuck in one place, when there’s a whole wide world out there for all of us to explore?

There are clearly cons to settling down, and I’ve had my own difficulties with it. I was scared that my life was written in stone and every day was going to be the same. I was scared that I was no longer independent. I was scared that I was slowly losing my interests, and my identity. I had no idea who I was once I settled down, and the fear of being without an identity is the worst part of my journey.

The way I see it, “settling” means accepting the second, the third or the fourth best, but never the best. And as selfish as this sounds, why shouldn’t I have the best? I am the kind of person that works hard for what she wants. Although there are bumps in the road, that doesn’t mean I will forfeit; it only means that I will do better the next time around, because I will learn from my mistakes.

So my advice, if I may give you one, is to keep on working. Keep on exploring. Keep on travelling, because that’s what makes you feel good. There are no wrong choices. There are, however things you want and things you don’t want, so focus on following your heart.

When your heart does find what it’s looking for, take a moment to think about the idea of staying in that place and in that moment a little bit longer. Not thinking about settling down yet, but just thinking about staying a little bit longer.

Learn to say yes to familiar things, and learn to say no to the distractions.

We are only human, and change is natural. When you are ready to move on to the next phase of your life, there should be nothing holding you back.

You are the writer of your own story, and you can write yourself any future you want. So don’t let the little things hold you back.

I hope this was somewhat insightful. I would love to hear from you.

Best wishes, Lili


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